The Life of a Squib
by abocada
Summary: Lynn McKinnon's sister is living her dream - being a witch. But just because Hogwarts didn't recognize her passion, doesn't mean she won't try getting what she wants.
1. Chapter 1

This is a work of fanfiction, using the world of Harry Potter for entertainment purposes. Harry Potter is trademarked by J. K. Rowling. I wish a had a stash of Polyjuice Potion, though.

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><p><strong>Chapter 1<strong>

"Lynn, she's here! Come quick!", shouted a female voice from downstairs. The young girl sighed and closed the book which she just picked up from her bookshelf.  
>"It's this time of the year again..", she muttered, even though she has been perfectly aware of what would happen in the next two weeks. Her beloved sister came home to stay with them. She always hated Christmas time more than summer, even though the summer break was much longer. But in winter she had no other choice than to stay home and listen to her. She would tell them excitedly of her adventures. In summer, in summer at least she could leave. Go out and spend the whole day not thinking about her. And what she does. And how she lives.<br>But Christmas was suffocating. A holiday for families.

She summoned all her strength, picked a deep green sweater from her closet and slowly made her way downstairs. She could hear excited voices, smell the snow outside and already imagine her little sister with a red nose, huffing clouds of white breath into the room.  
>"My sweet little girl! How I missed you!", her mother exclaimed and hugged her daughter, making them look like a cone of vanilla ice cream from afar.<br>"How was school? No, how was your ride back home? Are you hungry? Did you eat something on the train? Charles, did you ask her if she ate? Nevermind! Come on in, you must be freezing! Let me get you some slippers - Charles, the tea kettle!"  
>Her mother couldn't contain her excitement, bustled about, talking to her daughter and husband and getting nothing done in the end.<br>"Oh, what am I thinking!"  
>She stopped in the middle of her motion, looked in her pockets for something, unearthed a wooden stick, swung it towards the kitchen and the high pitched noise of a boiling tea kettle stopped, only to be replaced by the noise of tea cups being filled.<br>"Mum, just let me take off me shoes first", the blonde girl in the door laughed, pushed herself into the house, shook her head to get rid off the snow and finally spotted her sister.  
>"Hey Lynn", she smiled. Her smile seemed genuinely happy, but as her twin-sister Lynn knew for a fact that it was more insecurity and nervousness than happiness. Lynn made her best effort to smile back. It didn't seem to be very convincing since her sister averted her eyes for a split second.<br>"Hey. Long ride?"  
>"Yeah.. you can say so. You know how I don't like trains."<br>Lynn simply nodded, turned around and went back to her room. The mandatory "welcome back sister" conversation was over for now and she could sit in her room for a couple of minutes until it was time to sit a the big dining table as a family. Which was, aside from the actual Christmas dinner, probably the worst part of it.

"So, tell me everything! How are you grades? Is somebody annoying you? Did you meet a nice guy?"  
>"Mum!"<br>The older woman laughed loudly.  
>"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm just so curious!"<br>The blonde girl looked angrily at her mother, took a sip of her tea and started talking.  
>"Weell.. there isn't really much I can tell you that I haven't already done so in my countless letters."<br>She took a cookie and nibbled on it while thinking on what to tell.  
>"Oh, I don't care. It's so boring to read letters, I'd much rather hear everything from yourself."<br>Her husband coughed and murmured something about telephones, only to be ignored by mother and daughter.  
>"I'm doing quite good, actually. We had a surprise test in Potions recently and I did pretty well! Maybe I should rethink the whole I suck at Potions perspective."<br>Her mother beamed and turned to her husband.  
>"Did you hear that? Maybe she doesn't take after me in the end!"<br>He shook his head.  
>"Well then she sure isn't taking after me. "<br>"Oh, you know what I mean! You are smart!"  
>The three of them laughed, all the while Lynn only sat there, staring at the ceiling and sipping tea.<br>"Um.. Lynn, how is school?"  
>The girl next to her turned around and looked into her sister's face.<br>"Fine."  
>"Lynn, why don't you tell her about the essay contest?", her mother asked and stood up to get more tea.<br>"What essay contest?" Lynn sighed, sat up and faced her sister.  
>"There was a national essay contest. I wrote something and won."<br>"Wow, that's amazing! What was the subject? What did you write?"  
>"The subject was 'If Magic was real - how would it change the world and your personal life?'"<br>Her sister sat there, stunned.  
>"Jeez, ease up Marlene, that was a joke. The task was to write about family. I wrote about you."<br>Marlene looked confused.  
>"You.. really?"<br>"You never learn. Of course not." Lynn smiled wryly, took another cookie and got up.  
>"Lynn, don't be mean towards your sister. Marlene, she wrote about the Vietnam war. It was a very good essay and she deserved the prize. We are very proud of you, Lynn."<br>"I know, Dad", she didn't look at her father as she left the room.

She fell to her bed with a sigh. Why was she so mean to her sister? Why couldn't she just be nice for a change? Was it really so difficult?  
>So yawned and stretched - and her fingers brushed over the spine of a book. Her favourite book. Snow White and the Seven Dwarves. A birthday gift from her father. On her 7th birthday. She couldn't read very well back then, so her father read her the story every night again and again until she could memorize it and pretend to read it.<br>This book opened a whole new world in her life. It showed her the realms of imagination. Dwarves, magic, beauty. Things she desired since she got a hold of this book. She begged her father to get her more books. More fairy tales. She read them all. Dreamed about the world of magic. Yearned for it. She always knew she was only an ordinary girl. She knew that it was only made up and that no one - no one in the whole world could have it. But she still wished, secretly.

That was - until her 11th summer. It was a fairly ordinary day. She was sitting in the garden, eating ice cream, with a book on her lap, staring at the sky and being happy. Until she spotted an owl. She jumped up, the book slid from her lap, the ice cream almost fell down, she cried for her mother. Both her mother and her twin-sister came running. Marlene was as excited as she was. Seeing an owl in the day time so close was pretty exciting for a little girl. Her mother was strangely quiet.  
>But she never believed that the owl would fly down to them, fly onto the backrest of the chair she was just sitting on, dropping a scroll on the ground. Both of the girls were confused, her mother ushered them in, telling them it wasn't safe near the owl. Because it had claws. They went into the kitchen - reluctantly - and watched her mother from the kitchen window. She picked up the scroll, unrolled it, read it and held her hand over her eyes. Lynn always thought she did it because she was crying. Which of course made no sense to her back then. How would a simple scroll make her a cry?<br>But soon she understood.

Her mother came to the kitchen, the owl long forgotten.  
>"Girls..", her voice waved. "I have to tell you something." She looked at her sister. But wouldn't look her into the eye. She knew that something was wrong. In the same moment her father came home from his office. He made his way into the kitchen - alarmed because it was strangely quiet.<br>"Mary, what's going on?", he asked, worried. She only looked up and looked him into his eyes. He took the scroll. He sat down at the kitchen table.  
>"Tell them." That was the only thing he said in the next minutes.<br>"Girls.. your mummy is a witch."  
>Lynn couldn't believe what she heard. Marlene was confused. She couldn't comprehend. But she understood immediately. Her mother could do magic. And the owl.. and the scroll.. and whatever it was, it was something wonderful. "Your mummy went to a special school for wizards when she was 11. And just now we got a letter from the school..."<br>Lynn beamed.  
>"...and it's for you, Marlene. You are a witch."<br>She thought her heart stopped. Marlene? What about Lynn? What about her? "Mu-"  
>"After I graduated I met your father. Your father isn't a wizard. I married him and gave up my life as a witch. I didn't think that any of you would have magical powers. I'm sorry Lynn, only Marlene is going."<br>Now it was her who couldn't comprehend.  
>How?<br>Why?  
><em>Why wasn't she the witch?<em>

It was as if suddenly all the magic got sucked up from the world. Everything seemed grey and unimportant. She felt a pain she didn't knew existed. She found herself in an agony most adults never experienced. It was as if her worst fear came true, even though she didn't know about it before hand. Magic existed in the world. And she wasn't allowed in.  
>She spend weeks, months, lying in bed and crying. Nothing could lessen the pain. Only gradually her tears dried up and she accepted her faith. She forcefully tried to do as many "muggle" things as she could. She tried not to think about it. It got better with the years. She almost forgot about her sister in the middle of the school year, sitting in class, talking to friends, being a normal girl. But sometimes, sometimes she would remember. Magic wasn't for her. It would never be.<p>

Her twin sister has been her best friend. After the fateful news they drifted apart. Talking about anything related to magic hurt her, her sister quickly learned. But now everything in her life was filled with magic. She loved her sister and didn't want to hurt her. But there was no way to do so while being with her.

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><p><strong>Author's Note:<strong> Hello and welcome! This is my first fanfiction. This will be slightly AU and there may be some dark themes coming up, which is why I set the rating to M to be sure. There will be no sexual content, though.

Also, I know, Lynn isn't technically a squib, but it makes for a more interesting title.

Lynn x Sirius pairing.

Enjoy!


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

"Mom, I have a question.", Lynn heard Marlene say while she was coming downstairs.  
>"Yes dear?" Her mother sat in the comfy armchair, knitting a hat.<br>"Could I invite friends over?"  
>The sound of knitting needles tapping each other stopped. "I'm.. not sure, dear. Who are these friends?"<br>Lynn stopped just before the last step and silently squatted down.  
>"I told you about Lily, right?"<br>"Oh, that smart girl?"  
>"Exactly! And, well, we got pretty close this year and I really like her and she asked if we could spend some together during the holidays. You know, to do muggle things."<br>Her mother started knitting again.  
>"Oh, she is muggle born?" Marlene nodded excitedly.<p>

"Yeah, she is. Her parents are muggles and she wanted to do muggle things again because she kinda misses them while in Hogwarts. Like watching a movie or something. And then I told her how Dad bought the VCR two years ago and she was so excited and really wanted to come over and watch a movie with me, you know?"  
>Lynn stood up and quickly returned to her room. A wizard friend.. her heart was racing. Aside from her mother and sister she has never met any other witch or wizard. She stopped, turned around went into the living room.<br>"I know she loves West Side..", her sister stopped talking when Lynn entered and coughed awkwardly.  
>"Who loves West Side Story?", Lynn asked and sitting down on the coach.<br>"Oh, just a friend of mine", Marlene replied, picking up her book, signaling her sister that she clearly wasn't comfortable with the topic.  
>"From school?"<br>"Um, yeah."  
>"Oh, great, is she gonna visit us?", Lynn asked, smiling.<br>Both her mother and her sister stared at her as if she'd gone crazy. "Um..", Marlene looked at her mother, who only shrugged. "I guess so. She said she wanted to visit but we haven't really made any plans yet." Lynn nodded.  
>"Then how are you going to?"<br>"What?"  
>"How are you going to contact her? Send an owl? Talk to her through a crystal bowl? Make her dream it?", she asked in a deadpan voice. Marlene shook her head.<br>"No, she is, uh, muggle born and I just call her phone."  
>"Oh, that's good, then."<br>She picked up the newspaper on the coffee table and pretended to be interested in politics. A witch. A smart one. Maybe...

She took a deep breath and carefully put her hair up, as she sat down at her dressing table. She had to redo it three times, because her hands just wouldn't stop shaking. She would always forget strands of hair, drop hairclips or simply zone out. Sighing, she removed all accessories from her hair and simply let them fall down as she put her hands between her tights. "It's gonna be fine, no reason to be so nervous!", she hissed at herself and decisively shook her head. She had to be calm and relaxed.

"Marlene, the door!", a while later her mother's voice cried from below. Lynn stood up and took a glance at the mirror and stared at a pair of familiar eyes, looking at her full of restrained hope. There was no point in getting overexcited. She dropped her shoulders and shook her body, as an effort to relax. Hopeless.

"Good evening, Mrs. McKinnon! It's so nice to meet you! Ah, this is a little gift for welcoming me", spoke the unfamiliar voice as Lynn slowly made her way down the stairs.  
>"Nonsense! We are happy to have one of Marlene's friends here! Come in, come in, you must be freezing!", the older woman ushered the girl into her home and they left the front hall.<br>The girl stood at the end of the stairs, staring at the shoes of the visitor. They looked perfectly ordinary. She bit her lip, as she tried to calm herself down. That girl was obviously the same as Marlene and she didn't see her wearing some red witches' shoes!

"You have a really nice house, Mrs. McKinnon." The older woman laughed. "Oh, nonsense! It's so small and old, but it think it is fairly cosy. Well, here is your tea, girls. I'm going back to my room, I believe I have more knitting to do," her mother said as she left the living room and gently closed the door. "Ah, Lynn, do you want some tea?", she asked as she saw her daughter standing in the hall. "I.. uh...", Lynn began and shrugged her shoulders.  
>"Do you think they want me to... I mean, I don't want to... I just... that's really... I'm a bit...", she trailed off, visibly squirming.<br>Her mother smiled at her warmly and put both of her hands on the shoulders of her daughter. "I'm sure they will be very happy to have your company. Don't worry, dear", she took a step closer and put a light kiss on her forehead before she vanished in her leisure room.  
>"They better be", Lynn whispered to herself with grim determination.<p>

"Oh, hey there! I'm Lynn, Marlene's sister! You're Lily, right? I heard so much about you! Apparently you're the smartest witch in your year and I have to say, I am quite relieved that my little sister is hanging out with the right crowd, if you know what I mean", she grinned as she entered the room and plopped herself down on the armchair. The girls, who had been deep in conversation, jerked up as the door was opened and stared at the intruder wide-eyed.  
>"Oh... Lynn... uhm..", her sister began, trying to make sense of the situation. The redhead shot her a confused look, before she turned to the newcomer. "Hello, nice to meet you. Marlene has told me.. a lot about you, too", she smiled politely as she sat up straight in the sofa, putting her hands neatly into her lap.<br>"I bet she did!", Lynn laughed. "And I'm sure only the best things, right, Mar?"  
>The other girl suppressed a dry laugh and smiled at her sister. "Yeah, of course. I mean, we are sisters and as sisters, we are really close", she replied, giving Lily a knowing look. The redhead nodded with understanding. "Totally. My sister and I are also very close", she said, averting her gaze and staring intently at the carpet.<br>"Oh, is she at Hogwarts as well? Do you, like, share a room? I heard that you all have to share a room in Hogwarts, isn't that really horrible? I mean, I love you Marlene, but nobody could force me to share a room with you."  
>"Uhm... no... she isn't."<br>"Ah. I see." Lynn stood up again, to take off her sweater. "So she's just like me? An ordinary loser? Or what do you call those again? Squid or something? Very quaint, that name."  
>"Lynn!", the blonde girl stood up, hissing at her sister. "Don't you want to go back to your room?"<br>Lynn shook her head and grinned at her sister. "Oh, no, not at all, I really want to watch that movie with you. Isn't muggle technology astounding? Oh, I'm sorry Lily, you're like Marlene, so you know all about it. Isn't that? Having the best of both worlds?"  
>The blonde girl took a step towards Lynn, glaring at her furiously. "This isn't funny. If you're looking for a fight, then please leave. We only want to watch a movie, nothing more. So please leave."<br>"No." Lynn folded her arms and glared back at her sister. "I have every right to be here, so I am extremely sorry if my existence is bothering you, dear sister. It's not my fault that you have to come back during the holidays."  
>Marlene let her shoulders drop and sighed in defeat. "Fine, I get it. I'm the horrible, horrible step-sister. So, what do you want except for riling me up?"<br>"Me? I don't want anything at all from you", she smiled and turned towards the redhead, who tried to pretend not to hear those two fight.  
>"Uhm...?", feeling stared at, Lily raised her heads and frowned.<br>"I just wanted to ask you something, if it's okay?"  
>"I... guess...", she answered, shooting her sister a confused look.<br>"So,", Lynn said as she said down next to the redhead on the sofa, facing her. "Lynn! You cannot do that! She is my guest, don't bother her!", her sister yelled angrily.  
>"Oh, shut it", Lynn simply answered, paying her no heed. "No, it's fine Marlene.", Lily smiled at her friend and turned towards the other girl, looking at her uncertainly.<br>"So, I heard that you're pretty smart."  
>"...yes?"<br>"And I've been wondering - well, you know how I have no magic, right? But I thought, that can't be, like, a definite thing, right? There must be some kind of spell or weird ritual to-"  
>"Are you crazy?", her sister snapped, grabbing her arm and pulling her arm. "Do you really think that if there was ANY way to give you magic, it wouldn't already have happened!? You are my sister, for Christ's sake! Do you think I was happy about the fact that I would go to that school all alone, leaving you here at home like a miserable pile of crap? I've looked through the WHOLE library in Hogwarts, looking for a way to make things better, but there is NO way. It's impossible. Just forget it and accept it! It's not going to happen! Never!", she shouted at her, tears forming in her eyes.<br>Lynn stared at her shocked, unable to react.  
>"Look...", Lily said, "I know how hard it must be. My sister is the same... I looked with Marlene together. There is no way. I'm so sorry."<br>Lynn took a moment to blink away the tears in her eyes and looked up, smiling at the girls. "Alright, sorry to bother you", she said, before she quietly returned to her room.

...Impossible. Impossible. Impossible. Impossible. Impossible. Impossible. Impossible...


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

After that unpleasant conversation, Lynn went back to ignore the sister of her sister all together, like she always did the whole year around. Her sister, on the other hand, treated her like a distant relative: Politely, but distant, since there really was no point in getting to know a distant relative you only met once a year at the most.  
>This continued for a few days, until they accidentally met at the breakfast table. Normally, Lynn spend as much time as possible sleeping in and thus managed to avoid every family member for breakfast, but this morning her mother planned a devious plot to see her two daughters together at the dinner table. She made her special pancakes.<br>Still, just because they were sitting next to each other, didn't mean they actually had to talk to each other, so the two girls worked in vanquishing their pancakes in utter silence. That is, until the blonde girl spoke up, addressing her mother.  
>"Mum, can I go to Diagon Alley tomorrow? A few girl wanted to meet up and doing something fun", she said while still chewing on her pancake. "But of course you can!", the older woman answered, her back towards the two girls, as she was frying more pancakes.<br>"Can I have some money, too? I don't know what we're gonna do yet, but...", Marlene said, finishing up her plate. Her mother nodded. "Of course honey, just take what you need from my purse." Satisfied, the blonde girl stood up, moving to put her plate inside the washing machine.  
>"Oh, can I go, too?", the brown-haired girl piped up, her eyes focused on the plate and not noticing the aghast glare of her twin-sister. Her mother turned around, facing her in surprise. "You mean, with your sister?", she asked.<br>Lynn nodded. "Yeah, why not? I've never really been there and I just met Lily and she was really nice, so I thought, why not? I mean, I can, can I?", she asked, smiling innocently and putting her fork and knife properly on her now empty plate.  
>"But that is wonderful, dear! Of course you can! Isn't that wonderful, Marlene?", her mother exclaimed excited, smiling at her two precious daughter.<br>"Yeah... it sure is...", the blonde girl mumbled, glaring at her sister.

"So, have you everything you got?", Mary McKinnon asked them, as she pampered her daughters who were standing in front of the fireplace and looking clearly fed-up. "Yes, mum! We are dressed, we have our money, it's gonna be FINE. Can we please go now? I really don't want to be late!", the blonde girl finally cried out. They were meant to show up at The Leaky Cauldron ten minutes ago, but her mother kept forcing things like umbrellas, tissues and pepper spray on them, as if they were about to go on a survival training in the middle of New York City and not on a fun day in Daigon Alley. "Alright, alright. It's just... Lynn has never been there without me! I don't want her to feel...", she drifted off and stared awkwardly at the floor.  
>"Don't worry, I'm gonna keep an eye on her. Nothing's gonna happen. We are all very mature and responsible girls and we're gonna stay on the main street, okay?", Marlene tried to assure her mother.<br>"Fine, fine. But don't go anywhere near Knockturm Alley. And you're back before the sun goes up, do you hear me?", the mother asked, looking around the living room, trying to think of other things she could force on her daughter to make herself feel any less worried.  
>"Yes, I do, we go now, bye!", the blonde girl shouted as she took a bit of floo powder and soon vanished inside the fireplace.<br>"Welp, that looks like fun", Lynn remarked, but didn't hesitate a second to follow her sister. She would enjoy every damn bit of magic she could, even if it would kill her, or make her feel nauseous!

One extremely unpleasant fireplace-ride and coughfit later, Lynn McKinnon found herself in the seediest pub her teenage mind could imagine. Mainly, because she couldn't remember ever being in a pub, so she probably shouldn't judge too quickly. There was always something worse. But that always applies to life. While her eyes took a moment to adjust to the sudden darkness inside the pub, she tried not to distinguish the different smells that were trying to prod her nose, instead, she decided, she would focus on the sounds she was hearing, mainly, some patrons talking to the innkeeper. Or a waiter. She didn't know exactly, she only heard some deep voices order some butterbeers. Butterbeers, huh? She shivered slightly as she tried to imagine the taste, but then opted to finding her sister and her friends instead. Spotting a group of slightly hysterical young girls in the middle of a pub was, fortunately, not very difficult and she soon made her way to the table the group was occupying - and stopped short as she saw who else was sitting there.  
>It pretty much looked like the sister she knew all her life transformed into a big glob of rosy flesh, wild hair and quivering extremities. Or, in short, like she was snogging off the face of a male specimen. That was definitely a sight Lynn never had to witness in her life before. Sure, she did see her fair share of snogging during all those school years, but she never saw her dear little sister engaged in such an activity. Not really surprising, considering that she mainly saw her at the dinner table and it would be quite disturbing to think who Marlene could snog in their family home. Best not to think about that.<br>"Great", she muttered to herself and sighed, while looking around. Lynn didn't really want to interrupt them, but on the other hand, she didn't particularly want to stand there like a moron. The best course of action would be probably to squeeze in into a seat while making herself as invisible as possible - but seeing as she couldn't believe some witches would not notice her presence and start asking her questions, it was impossible for Marlene not to notice the commotion and slowly, but disgustingly, detach herself from the male flesh blob. Somehow Lynn really wasn't very keen on that sight. She totally did not want to see who her sister was making out with in public. Why it bothered her so much? She didn't exactly know why, but could imagine a few reasons. Her sister's snogging engagement was either incredibly hideous, incredibly powerful or incredibly handsome. None of that options would make her feel better, so Lynn just turned around and aimed at the bar, resolved to order one of those mysterious butterbeers to get that experience over with.  
>Putting a very casual and bored face on, she sat down on a stool, casually looking around the establishment, not wanting to seem to eager to order a, presumably, alcoholic beverage. She really hoped the innkeeper would not ask for ID, because then she would be outed as one of those non-muggle folks instead and Lynn wasn't exactly sure if they were allowed to stay in the pub other than quickly entering the Diagon Alley, which, if she remembered correctly, was quite impossible for her in the first place.<br>"One butterbeer", she casually nodded at the innkeeper - or waiter? - as he passed her, sliding his wet cloth over the counter, seemingly trying to clean it, but only ending up distributing the dirt and fluids in an even manner. Oh joy.  
>He nodded back at her in a quite casual and non-committed manner and after dropping a few of those copper-coloured coins on the counter, he presented her with a big see-through container, filled to the brim with a golden fluid. Normally, she would assume the guy set up a glass in front of her, filled with beer, but you could never be too sure about those wizard-folks. Maybe it was some kind of special drinks container and the butterbeer she ordered was only called beer, but contained actually more trollsnot than hop. Who knew?<br>Nonetheless, she moved her head towards the glass, for the fear of not being able to lift it because, maybe only wizards could lift those magical glasses if it was magical in the first place?, and took a cautious sip. "Eugh! Yech! Blargh!", she sputtered, almost spitting out the tiny sip she made. Warm beer! Who in their right mind would drink warm beer!? What year are we living in, that we can not keep our beer cold, for Christ's sake!?  
>"Not a fan of it either, huh?", an amused voice right to her asked, chuckling slightly. "Tell me about it. Seriously. You would think wizards are so great with their magic sticks, they can keep their freaking beer cold!", she loudly complained, before she turned to the deep voice, before realizing what she said and clapping a hand of her mouth. "I... I mean...", she mumbled, not quite sure if the boy standing next to her at the counter could even understand those words. Not that it mattered, because she hasn't said anything of substance yet under her hands.<br>The boy smiled at her and simply shook his head. "Don't worry. I know what you mean. But it's better than nothing, until you can get firewhiskey, I guess", he said and took a quick glance back at the pub.  
>"Firewhiskey? What's that? It... doesn't burn, does it?", Lynn asked curiously. Again, who knew with wizardfolk?<br>The boy laughed heartily, as the innkeeper-waiter set a few glasses in front of him, grunting something indistinguishable.  
>"Only your throat", he answered, grinning at her and Lynn could feel the tips of her ears turning red. Which wasn't actually that bad, because her ears were thankfully covered by her hair. You could never be careful enough, years of public embarrassment taught her.<br>"Well, I've got to go back to my table. See you around?", he said, before picking up the glasses and making his way through the table, which, curiously, happened to be the one where her sister melted into a bigger fleshy blob. "Ah, wait! I'm coming with you!", she yelled after him, after she saw that her sister de-melted from that manly blob, more or less, only to be sitting on that specimen's lap instead of eating his head, or something disgusting like that.  
>The boy turned around, an expression of slight surprise on his face. He was either too polite to show major surprise, or witnessed enough surprising things, as not to be surprised enough by being followed by a strange, clearly non-magical girl.<br>"I, uh, I uh, it's not what you think! I'm not some weird stalker girl or somebody with no friends who latches herself at anybody who says something nice to her, I, just, well...", she trailed off, as they walked towards the table and she could clearly see the male specimen her twin-sister was trying to absorb to herself.  
>He was bloody gorgeous.<p>

Never in her life before did she feel more jealous of her sister. Even more than on the day the fateful letter arrived.

And never in her life did she feel more alone.

"Ohhh, Remus, what's that? Did a lost puppy follow you home?", a loud voice asked, bellowing with laughter. "Puppy? Oh, I do like me some puppies", another voice asked, answering in a sillier laugh, as they were in some kind of weird insider constant of who could make an bigger ass out of themselves simply by laughing. Never had Lynn felt attraction vaporize from her body as fast as it did now. Shrugging, she bellowed the beer boy to sit down and make space for herself and sat down, smiling politely at the group of strangers. Judging by their confused expression, it was indeed not normal for wizardkind to simply sit down at the table of strangers. Good to know that they haven't lost all sense of common sense in weird potion vapours. You could never know.  
>"Well, I'm definitely not some dumb puppy, boy", she replied, whipping back and trying to pose as some kind of Egyptian goddess, or something. Not that she looked anything like an Egyptian goddess. Nor did she know how to behave like one. But she guessed putting her nose as high as possible and making her neck really long and looking at air as if she would think when to schedule her next cat-worshipping session would look convincing enough.<br>"Oh? Then are you rather a naughty little kitten?", the blob-boy across from her asked, leaning over the table and practically leering at her, as if he did not just half-melt with her twin-sister. Lynn simply crossed her arms and glared at him. "I'm not an animal of any kind, if you can't see that", she spat back at him. Lynn McKinnon did not know what was going on. She didn't know why she was sitting there, she didn't know why she was saying these weird things and to be honest, she only wanted to stand up and leave very quickly. She felt disgusted and awkward. This is not how it was supposed to go! She really wished she could rewrite the last moment, but alas, she could not and honestly wouldn't, because that would kinda be a waste and Lynn McKinnon wasn't a girl to just throw away done work, she'd just work around it, somehow.  
>"Guys, this is my sister", sighed the blonde girl across from her exasperatedly. "Just ignore her", she said while grabbing one of the butterbeers and nipping on it with a sullen expression.<br>"My name is Lynn, thank you very much for the kind introduction, dear sister of mine", Lynn just spat back and shot an equally sullen expression at her sister.  
>"You... have a sister?", the astounded boy-blob asked, his eyes jumping between the two girls, trying to gauge their similarity. "Her twin-sister, actually. And I'm the older one", Lynn explained and decided not to look sullen anymore. It didn't really suit her, anyway. Nobody looked particularly attractive with a sullen expression. Not that she cared, really. Although... no, she did not!<br>"Right, and that's my twin-brother, James!", the guy laughed and Lynn taught that this sound was incredibly ugly and unpleasant. Or maybe her judgement was simply compromised. Who knew. Wizards probably. But she wouldn't ask them.  
>Marlene McKinnon simply laughed and decided that she, too, didn't look too good with a sullen expression and instead reduced the distance between herself and the guy-blob to almost zero. It looked quite disgusting. It really was too warm for any kind of physical contact in this pub.<br>"No, she really is my twin-sister. Not identical, obviously, or... you know...", she shrugged and Lily, who has been quite busy with her lap, shot her a knowing look.  
>"Or what?", James asked, obviously not catching on. "Or she would have been at Hogwarts", the beerboy explained with a low voice and it suddenly got quiet at the table. "Oh. That sucks", another boy muttered, seemingly forgotten at the very edge of the table.<br>"Yeah, actually, it sucks a lot. Does anybody want to switch? No? Figures." Lynn sighed dramatically and let her gaze drop to the floor. What the heck was she doing. Why was she talking to them. Nothing was making any sense whatsoever.  
>"Haha, well, I wouldn't mind...", the boy answered, rubbing a hand on his palm, looking around the pub. The others stared at him in confusion. "What are you saying? I mean...", Lily began, but soon caught herself and opted to stare back at her lap. "Well, I'm not that good of a wizard, anyway. I don't think it would make a difference for me to be a muggle", he shrugged as he turned the empty glass in his hands around, staring at the foam.<br>"Don't be silly! If you were a muggle, you wouldn't be here, with us!", James answered, slightly prodding the boy with his arm, giving him a reassuring smile. Or maybe he just pretended to be nice, to impress a girl. But Lynn certainly didn't know and didn't actually care, either way.  
>"So, why haven't I ever heard of you, Lynn McKinnon?", the blob boy asked, peering curiously at her face.<br>"How should I know? Ask my sister, not me. But if I should guess - probably because I'm only a dumb muggle who can't do any magic?", she retorted.  
>Marlene McKinnon didn't say anything, but simply pressed her lips together, looking quite annoyed with herself. Or the world. "Marly? Come on baby, why didn't you tell me about your sister?", he asked, but only got a shake of the head as answer. He shrugged his shoulders and decided to turn his attention to the beer in front of him instead.<br>"So, Lynn, first time in Diagon Alley?", the beer boy asked, obviously wanting to cover up the slightly awkward atmosphere.  
>"Eh, not really. Been here a few times with my mum, but never really on my own. I figured I might as well", she replied, thinking that, yes, talking to that other boy was definitely more pleasant than staring at her sister's ugly expression.<br>"I see. Do you have anything planned, or are you tagging along?", he asked, smiling.  
>"She certainly will not!", an angry voice replied, suddenly propelling herself into the conversation and looking even more annoyed than previously.<br>"Oh, why not? I thought you promised mum to keep an eye on me - what will a poor, defenceless muggle do on her own in the strange jungle that is Diagon Alley?", Lynn asked, batting her eyelashes.  
>"What do I care? I don't even know why you came in the first place. This is dumb. Don't you have your own friends to hang out with?", the blonde girl angrily retorted. The table went quiet. It wasn't particularly loud before, so the change may not be particularly big or even important. Maybe it was just a perfectly normal lull and not caused by Marlene's rather tactless remark.<br>Lynn slowly stood up, a friendly smile plastered on her face. "Oh, I do. I just need to do some shopping here and I will be done. Now, who of you will open that wall for me so I can leave now?", she asked in the round and seeing as none volunteered, the boy in the back shrugged his shoulders and stood up. "I can do it, I guess?", he said and the two of them made their way to the back exit. Lynn McKinnon did not look back. She wasn't really insulted, but she only wanted somebody to open the entrance for her in the first place, so it was a good time as ever.  
>"Here you go", the boy replied, after he tapped on the wall with his wooden stick. "Thanks, sorry about that. Marlene is kinda weird around me, don't really know why", Lynn said, shrugging her shoulders and offering a hand to the boy. "Oh, no problem. She's always like that," he simply answered, turning to leave.<br>"...she is?", Lynn asked, frowning. The boy nodded. "Yeah. But aren't all girls like that?" The look on his face was rather innocent, so Lynn couldn't help but laugh. "Yeah, I guess. But what's your name, anyway?", she extended her hand, smiling at him. "Peter. Peter Pettigrew. Nice to meet you, Marlene's sister", he shook her hand quickly, before he vanished in the pub again. She smiled after him, rather humourlessly. She would definitely need to get used to that name.

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note:<strong> The awkward moment when characters develop their own personalities that don't fit in with what you had in mind... sorry Marlene, I didn't want to make you like this! Also, as you can guess, I'm not a big fan of rewriting things. It _never_ turns out better than the original.

We met Sirius Black! But he seems to be in a relationship with Marlene? I think this is going be a problem for our pairing.

Next up is going to be a slightly boring bridge chapter... or maybe I'll change it. I probably should, hm...


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

There she was again. The hub of magical trade and commerce in London - or even in whole England. She gritted her teeth, focused on her trainers and quickly manoeuvred through the packed streets of Diagon Alley, heading towards Florish and Botts. Arriving inside the packed bookshop, she weaselled through the masses of people, scanning the shelves with her eyes. "Magical History, Magical Law, Magical Sports... why the heck isn't this sorted alphabetically?", she complained to herself, frowning. "Magic in Art, Poetry... Magical Theory?", she stepped closer to a shelf, inspecting the books. "Magic and Science - Why Muggles Are Wrong? Really now? A study of the Imperius curse in relation to the human psychology... I wonder what that is?", she muttered to herself, twisting her neck to read the spines. "Magical Ability in sentient and non-sentient beings - a short history... that one!", she said, pulling the rather heavy tome from the shelf, quickly opening it to the index, scanning the chapter. "Introduction, Magical Ability - Prejudice and Expectations, Examples, no... ah, experiments!", she quickly skipped to the indicated page, quickly skimming the content.

"As already elaborated earlier, magical prejudice has always been a core problem between the magical and non-magical communities. Equally, there was a pressure on magical families to produce magical offspring... [...] ...to determine whether a descendant possessed magical talent, experiments were conducted, most of them of harmful manner, often resulting in the death of the non-magical subject." Lynn quickly skipped the pages explaining the gruesome experiments and their results in great detail.  
>"All in all it is to say, that while such tests could not be excused from a modern point of ethics, they are still being accepted as the norm, leading to a manifestation of magical prejudice inside the magical community..."<br>Lynn rolled her eyes and went back to the index, checking the chapters again. "Well, that was a bust... what else is there? Sentient magical beings, non-sentient magical beings, Research of Magical Ability.. that must be it!", she quickly skipped ahead again, her eyes excitedly jumping from line to line.  
>"Since the day a distinction between witches and wizards and muggles exist, there have been rituals and other efforts to infuse non-magical beings with magic, all of them resulting in failure." She blinked, as she stared at the words, her stomach clenching together painfully. "From potions, to spells and even tribal rituals, none of the experiments resulted in an increased magical ability in the subject. There have been records of muggles being able to wield wands and produce the most basic of spells, but investigations discovered them to be blatant lies or manipulations by wizards."<br>She sighed and was about to close the book, when the last sentence on the page caught her attention. "However, since the prejudice against beings without magical ability in the wizarding community such a prevalent problem is, it is considered possible that any successful efforts of injecting a subject with magical ability may have been unreported, for the fear of rejection, or worse." She could clearly hear her heartbeat as she stood there, staring at this one, magical sentence, swallowing audibly.  
>Of course.<br>*Of course!*  
>Nobody would write a book about how they got their child to have magic after all, or that child would have to suffer from malice all its life long! And they definitely wouldn't put such a book in school library. Or, just any bookshop, for that matter.<br>Determined, she closed the book and shoved it back into the shelf, fighting her way back towards the entrance, taking a deep breath of the cold air outside.  
>She buried her hands into her pockets, feeling relief as she touched her pepper spray and slipped into her brass knuckles. Just because she didn't carry a wooden stick didn't mean she was completely helpless - or dumb, for that matter.<br>Not paying attention to the people around her, and especially not trying to look suspicious, she walked down the street, aiming at a particular shady side-street. She's never been there, but thanks to her mother's continuous warnings, she was well aware that Knockturm Alley was not a place a girl should find herself at. That is - if she didn't want to end up in a hag's stew.  
>Casually walking down the street, she eyed the various shop signs and windows, trying to find a store that only sold books and<br>not parts of endangered creatures and poisonous artefacts.  
>Spying one such shop, appropriately called "Old Books", she entered, casually looking around as if she was simply trying to kill some time.<br>Fortunately, the owner wasn't present, leaving her to browse the selection in peace. The shop looked incredibly small and crammed from the outside, but turned out be to quite spacious in the inside, even having old, but comfy looking sofas in the corners with little tables and tea kettles, arousing an impression of a quaint, cosy café meets bookshop, but the tomes sitting up old shelves named "Dark Arts - An Apprentice's Guide", "Reliable Torture Techniques" and "Undetectable Curses", ruined that very impression. Not that the illustrious paintings of various forms of torture, genocide and unholy rituals plastered all over the walls weren't any indication.  
>Lynn suppressed a shudder and boldly approached a shelf, pulling out a tome that practically sprang out to her. "Magical Infusions - An Illustrated Guide", she read from the cover, tracing the deep letters set inside a thick leather cover with her fingers.<br>"Yes, yes, that one is a best-seller...", a voice suddenly cackled behind her, causing her to drop the tome in surprise and yelping, as it hit her big toe.  
>"Ah, bloody he-, I mean, sorry!", Lynn mumbled, while picking up the book, carefully dusting it off. "I, uh, was just taking a look. Never heard of magical infusions before", she explained, trying to look as nonchalant as possible, while taking a look at the old woman sitting at a little table, knitting needles in her hand. "Of course, of course, nowadays they don't teach you anything at Hogwarts," she cackled again, her tiny beady eyes blinking in the light of the candles, that suddenly lit up, throwing flickering shadows at the wall. "A sibling, eh?", the woman asked, watching as her knitting needles moved on their own, rocking her upper body back and forth. If Lynn didn't know what kind of shop this was, she could have mistaken the old woman for a cute little grandma, but it only took her a moment to realize, that her rosy cheeks were huge warts and her adorable smile was a toothless grimace. Again, she had force herself not to shudder or not to allow her legs to carry her out of the shop as fast as possible.<br>"I... yes. My sister just turned eleven this summer and didn't get a letter. She's really miserable and I just wondered if...", she shrugged her shoulders, motioning to the book in her hands.  
>"Yes, yes, it's always the same, it is. Squibs born, left and right, poor, poor creatures, shunned, ignored, locked away and...", now the old woman looked up, showing Lynn a toothless grin. "..and killed of course. Isn't it droll? Just killing your children?" There was the cackling again. The girl forced herself to nod and smile back at the woman, who eyed her with great interest. "But unfortunately that book is no good.. no, no, just no good at all." She slowly stood up, walking towards a big cabinet, giving Lynn a conspiratorial wink. "No, you need something else, something like this.. no no, not this.. this won't do either, no no... ahh.. here." After rummaging in a drawer, the old witch turned around, presenting her a little silver knife, grinning at her like a cat who got the milk.<br>"...a knife? What does it do?", Lynn asked quietly, feeling more and more uncomfortable.  
>"It cuts things, of course", the witch cackled again, waving the blade around, almost hitting the table next to her. "Cut a witch or wizard - just a bit, to draw the blood. Cut the squib, mix their blood, let them drink it and.. yes, right...", she turned around again, fishing a little satchel from the open drawer, holding it out to her. "Give one to the wizard and one to the squib", she simply said, her eyes sparkling again, giving her the look of a heated little insect in a huge, shrivelled skin sack.<br>"That's it? That seems.. awfully simple." Hesitating, she simply looked at the blade and the satchel, trying to determine whether accepting things from a witch was a sure death sentence, or just prolonged pain.  
>"Yes, yes, that is all, nothing more, very simple", the witch confirmed, barring her gums in a hideous grin. "But you will need more, right? A wand?", she waddled back to the other side of the shop, opening a little chest, producing a little cylinder shaped bag. "Here, take this wand, very durable, very light", she cackled for what felt like the hundredth time, pulling a little bag from one of her pockets, putting all three items inside, carefully laying them next to her clinking needles.<br>"Uh, okay then... how much is that?", Lynn asked, slightly unnerved, wanting nothing more than to leave the shop and never to return. She was fully aware that this just a huge hoax - if it really was that easy to turn a "squib" into a wizard, then squibs wouldn't be any issue anymore. But blatantly telling that into the face of a possibly crazy witch? Not such a great idea.  
>"Let's see, let's see... about... yes.. yes... 5 galleons", she said, after slowly fingering the bag, tracing the outlines of the items. Lynn sighed relieved. At least this scam wouldn't cost her a little fortune. After paying for her items and only getting a blank stare when she asked for written instructions or a warranty, she simple decided to leave the weird witch and her shop behind them, hurrying back to Diagon Alley and the Leaky Cauldron, to take the floo back home.<p>

Unfortunately, that didn't prove as easy as she imagined it would be, since the brick wall seemed to be as inaccessible from the outside as from the inside for a non-magical being. That left her to wait in front of it like a little child waiting for their parents to open the car. And it just so happened that the first wizard to walk towards the Leaky Cauldron was an incredibly handsome - not breathtakingly gorgeous - wizard, who seemed to have been born during the Pride and Prejudice era, which promptly caused the young girl to breathe erratically and get sweaty palms.

Never in her fifteen years on this sweet earth had she laid her eyes upon a more beautiful creature than this young man - and as soon as she realized this, she had to fight the urge to stab her eyes out, as nothing she would ever see from this point could compare to him and would bask her life in a dull, grey fog.

Not wasting any second, she stepped closer to the wall, positively beaming at the approaching man, waiting for an opportunity to engage him in a conversation. But without even looking at her, he simply walked past her, quickly tapping the wall to enter the pub.  
>"Wait!", Lynn cried out, turning around. He stopped and turned his head, raising his eyebrow as he scanned her up and down. "Yes?", he asked, a clear sign of disgust on his face.<br>"I.. just... well, that is.. I just wanted to thank", she stuttered, suddenly thinking that talking to him was a mistake.  
>"I mean - for opening the wall. Because I couldn't get past-", before she could finish, she heard him snorting, before he vanished inside. Befuddled, she could only watch his long silvery hair sway, before he was gone.<br>She gripped the bag in her hands more tightly, pressing her lips on each other.  
>It was a mistake. Of course no wizard would waste any second with somebody who clearly looked so much out of place in here. Why was she deluding herself? Going to Diagon Alley, shopping in wizard shops, hoping to find a miracle potion to fix her? Was she that dumb? How could she have every believed that doing any of this would erase her pain?<br>Lynn bit her lips, suddenly feeling like the utter fool she was. She pressed her lids together, not longer being able to stand looking at herself, her dirty trainers and blue jeans, who looked as strange and bizarre in here as a human with three heads and an ice cream cone for a bottom would look to the rest of the world.  
>Impossible.<br>It was impossible. She would never be part of this.  
>Angrily, she shoved the bag into her pockets, quickly slipping past the closing bricks.<p>

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note:<strong> Okay, that wasn't particular exciting. So have a Lucius as consolation? I mean, no matter what you think about him, he _is_ quite good-looking. Or am I biased? 


End file.
